Cha Cha's

Just around the corner from the Freak Bar on the Boardwalk there lies another venue where one can go after sundown to experience a type of entertainment unique to Coney Island.....uniquely unique in this case, ha. Formerly known as Club Atlantis, the building was be re-birthed as Cha Cha's. The dude running the joint, JT, is quite an interesting character. Depending on which mood swing you catch him in the middle of, you'll either get an awesome story and new buddy, or an insane madman who will kick your ass out of the bar for no good reason. I remember asking him about an afternoon jam session I had peeked in on. And based on the sounds coming from the stage, the session consisted of mediocre blues musicians hacking their way through predictable material (but having a BLAST doing it so more power to 'em!). When I inquired about sitting in, he kind  of just stared at me for a while and said (well something along these lines) in a very serious tone: "You've got to be GOOD to sit in here. If you fuck up here, you'll never play anywhere in this town. So think about that before you come down here buddy." I guess the half dozen people in the bar when I passed by the session must have been super important....

Anyway, the first time I wandered in was during daylight hours and Cha Chas seemed to just be another dive boardwalk bar and good place to grab a beer and BS with some locals. As the summer wore on I obviously learned otherwise.

The vibe at Cha Chas is much much divier than the Freak Bar and the acts performing there are more "in your face" and "shocking" as opposed to the "classier" performances of the Freak Bar. While I did spend several late nights there with friends after the performances had already ended, I was able to attend a few Saturday night performances of the Philly based Squidling Brothers Circus Sideshow and was thoroughly entertained.

Some of the memorable performances I was exposed to (or were exposed to me in some cases) included some quite disturbing anatomically (in)correct muppets, "Lunch Box" eating moderately gross things and revealing more than necessary to make his point, monetary tips being stapled to both he and Jellyboy The Clown on a variety of body parts, spastic performances by Jellyboy's band The Hydrogen Jukebox, a super hot and extremely impressive Ariel Chain act by Anya Sapozhnikova, some rather dark and awesome burlesque performances including my friends Serpentina and the super rad Remy Vicious, the incredible Insectavora performing her fire act, and some (unintentionally) hilarious, horrendous magic tricks performed by the omnipresent and ever skeezy Mystic Marlow.

Cha Chas also played host to the Coney Island Rockabilly Festival, which was held the last weekend we were in town. I suppose I could go into more detail about my specific Cha Chas experiences but the nights are best remembered through pictures. Good times. Good peeps.

This......or That!

The final Friday of every month during the Summer season yields a very special and consistently unforgettable event at the Freak Bar. Regular rotating burlesque troupes are given temporary to make way for "America's Favorite Burlesque Gameshow", This or That!.

I was privileged enough to experience the June, July, and August episodes. While both the July and August episodes were quality, wisps of the June episode seems to have lingered the longest and left the deepest impression scar.

Clad in an incredible purple polyester suit armed with a game show style mic and smile, The Great Fredini commanded the stage accompanied by Julie Atlas Muse playing a cracked-out Vannah White packing an arsenal of the most hilarious facial expressions ever presented to an audience. The iconic 'Fisherman' warmed up the audience from behind his snare drum/cymbal kit armed with his "big hand" prop playing a 'Rod Roney' to The Great Fredini's 'Bob Barker/Richard Dawson/Chuck Barris' hybrid. Although the show is no longer aired live as it once was, it is still taped and 'commercial breaks' are taken to hawk ridiculous products/prepare the contestants. The cast is rounded out by the 'This or That Girls' (Bambi and Bunny) who would emerge from behind either curtain with either an act or to become rather personally "involved" with the contestants during the challenges.

The stage set's central piece is a typical game show wheel that when spun, lands on such phrases as 'Free Act', 'This or That', 'Buy an Act', and 'Mystery?'. "Round and round it goes; where it stops.......makes absolutely no difference." The wheel is flanked by curtains labeled "This" and "That" respectively. The audience is encouraged to weigh in with their opinion when the opportunity presents itself for the contestants to make the all important choice of "This......or That!" One of two things can happen after the choice has been made. Either a "normal" burlesque-style act will saunter out from behind the curtain.....or a "Dear Lord I am now blind and spewing blood from my burned out eye sockets" style burlesque act will slink across the stage.  Either way....the act is sure to make a lasting impression.

6 audience members (3 female and 3 male) volunteer are forcibly volunteered by their friends, or singled out by Julie and beckoned/dragged up on the the stage to compete in a preliminary contest that will result in one "lucky" volunteer from each sex gracing the stage for the remainder of the show as an 'official' This or That contestant.

The contest is quite simple in theory yet became much more complicated in practice: "You have 30 seconds each in turn to give the audience your best orgasm impression." Results of the simple command ranged from the annoying "oh I'm so embarrassed so I'll just kind of participate but mostly laugh into the mic and look at the ground" to all out "here's more about me then you ever wanted and ever will want to know" that stopped just short of fetal position thumb sucking in the corner of the stage.

One of the special guest Sideshow cast members visiting for the summer was "Seal Boy" Mat Fraser, who is an incredible performer (and drummer). Mat's a "Thalodomide Baby" born in the 60s with phocomelia of both arms. I would see him perform in various settings (sometimes seeing more of the dude than I had bargained for....yikes) throughout the rest of the summer but This or That was my first introduction to the dude. He preformed his own Burlesque Act involving the shedding of prosthetic arms.

Once the contestants have been chosen (based on audience response) and have been asked to "tell the audience something about yourself", they are sent backstage to prepare for the game. In the interim the rules of the game are eloquently explained by the illustrious host. The contestants answer questions/participate in 'Double Dare' (with a burlesque twist) style 'Physical Challenges' to accumulate 'totally worthless' This or That Dollars.

One staple of the show (kind of serving as the first "showcase showdown") involves the contestants frantically stripping in order to swap clothing with one of the This or That girls. Sometimes there was an ungodly amount of orange spray tan involved and the revealing of way more flesh then one would ever expect to see.....for better or worse.....usually worse. It was incredible to watch the contestants transform from nervous volunteers into shameless exhibitionists. But when you realize everything is in good fun and the people running the show excel at making everyone feel comfortably uncomfortable....radness obviously will ensue.

The Climax if the show culminates with the This or That "Super Showdown"in which there is some sort of food product, and it's never how much you eat, it's how "sexy" you consume said food product....with a generous amount of "assistance" from the This or That girls.

So, armed with a Coney Island Blockhead I took my seat in the bleachers that June evening not having the slightest clue of what to expect.

It was Mat's involvement during the This or That Super Showdown that burned a permanent image into my retinas. The food item of choice for the June This or That episode were ever fragrant "hard-boiled eggs". Both nearly bare audience volunteer contestants readied themselves for the start of the "Sexy Hard-Boiled Egg Eating Contest" to determine the ultimate This or That champion for the evening.

The Great Fredini gave the cue and shit was ON. They attacked the eggs with unbridled passion, aided by the This or That girls who fed hard boiled eggs to the volunteers in several.......interesting ways. Eggs were ground into the stage, flung out at the audience, placed and 'sexily' retrieved from several unique locations. The smell lingered for days. My Blockhead Beer induced pseudo bad acid trip peaked when a Speedo clad, dancing Mat Fraser graced the stage singing 'Age of Aquarius' in a lounge style as the music pumped out of the speakers and the egg orgy continued at his feet. It was by far the single most unsettling, amusing, and awesome thing I had seen up to that point, ha.

There were two more This or That performances I was able to attend during our stay but this first one was by far the most memorable (the pic below is from the August episode...Bannans were the food item of choice that month).

More to come.

Enter: The Freak Bar (Sideshow Edition)

While Burlesque dominates the Freak Bar after sundown, there are those who work a "regular 9-5", gracing the stage with their unique talents and uncanny abilities to draw in and play an audience with all the grace and dynamic range of a concert pianist.

The Coney Island Sideshow began in 1985 as "the world's first professional non-profit theatre dedicated to keeping alive the American sideshow."

The 2009 regular lineup consisted of the following outstanding performers I'm happy to now call friends:

Donny Vomit

PHOTO BY LAURE LEBER
I met Donny early on during my own "residency" at the Freak Bar. He's an Oklahoma boy with a voice naturally built for the stage. There are few people who can project and their voice with such controlled velocity sounding neither forced nor irritatingly piercing.

Known as the "Human Blockhead" within the Sideshow Community, he specializes in...well...pounding freaking nails into his head. He's taken the classic act to the next level by utilizing an electric power drill during the act. The audience's gasps of horror and awe as the screaming drill nuzzled its way into Donny's receptive nasal cavity never got old.

Mr. Vomit is a conusment professional in all regards (as well as a super fun dude to hang, drink and BS with). He also blows a mean fireball:

Visit the most excellent 'Vomitorium' blog to keep up to date with his adventures.

Kryssy Kocktail

PHOTO BY LAURE LEBER

Unfortunately I didn't get to hang with Kryssy all that much until later in the summer.....but the ensuing adventures I was a part of made up for it tenfold, ha: Crazy performances at Cha-Cha's with circus co-workers,  an evening in Brooklyn meeting interesting new people that stretched into the wee hours after her guest bartending shift (I think I have may have been dragged onto a stage to play drums while my motor skills were severely lacking), a memorable yet foggy afternoon/evening as a background extra for an episode of 'Bartender Wars' (the prop drinks were most definitely real, haha), and a particular evening at Peggy O'Neils with other sideshow cast where a certain drunken asshole Russian acrobat on the tour learned who NOT to mess with solidified my high opinion of this totally bad-ass chick.

Mediastorm.org produced an excellent short film about Kryssy. Check it out! Family Kocktail

Serpentina

I met Stephanie early on during our stay and it was of no big surprise that the already established trend of quality character and distinctly rad personalities found in everyone I had met continued. Fun times were had just hanging at the Freak Bar with her, Evarts, and her awesome partner-in-crime: Little Butch the dog. Steph had a very commanding stage presence during both her Snake Charming act and while fyring Kryssy in the electric chair. Her eleaborate 'Pinocchio' themed burlesque performance at Cha Cha's near the end of the summer was entertaining, creative, and memorable.

The remaining 3 cast members I unfortunately didn't get to know all that well.

I  spent an awesome evening at a Slipper Room event where I ran into The Black Scorpion who was there with Mr. Vomit (story of that evening shall be shared in a later entry ha) and Mat Fraser. Jason was a quality dude hailling from Austin, TX. I'm not sure if he's coming back again for the '10 season but if so, more hangination is most definitely in order!

Heather Holiday's mesmerizing sword swallowing act affects audience members in different ways depending mainly on age and gender, ha. She's an accomplished sword swallower and fire eater and has no problems at all completely enthralling her audience both on stage and off. I'll hopefully get to hang with her a bit more this coming summer. Heather's website.

Scott Baker is classic sideshow personified. The only time I saw him perform was the night the Sideshow Cast put on a special show for the Boom-A-Ring cast. It was great watching him do his thing....and he did it very well.

There were also some special guest performers that the Sideshow hosted throughout the summer that warrant their own entry. So yeah, more to come.