Saturday, January 30, 2010

Enter: The Freak Bar (Burlesque Edition)

My introduction to the Freak Bar began with ordering up a Coney Island Blockhead. The Schmaltz Brewing Company released a line of beers forever immortalizing members of the Coney Island Sideshow on the label and in each beer's name. The tasty choices included the Sword Swallower (Heather), Albino Python (Stephanie), Human Blockhead (Donny) (more on these fine people later), and the 'ole standby Coney Island Lager. The Bottles were massive and proved to be the perfect accompaniment for catching a Burlesque or Sideshow performance.

The Burlesque Troupe for that evening were guests who could normally be found performing at The Slipper Room in the Lower East Side (another quality venue for shows of a similar vein....stories for another time). The official synopsis sums up the show perfectly:

Mel & Fanny in Zombies Take Manhattan

Mel & Fannie are hosting the show at the Slipper Room in Manhattan when the zombie plague hits. They manage to get across the Brooklyn Bridge with three of their girls in tow, only problem is that Mel & Fannie have already been infected and don't realize it. After each number they attack the girl. By the seconsd set all the performers are zombies. Lots of blood, guts, laughs, and a suprise ending.




Definitely a suitable introduction to the New York Burlesque Scene. I was hooked immediately (on the beer, the scene, and the vibe). This particular show had a live band backing up the host/hostess and performers.

If you haven't actually experienced one of these performances, fancy adjectives can only do so much to convey what actually transpires. It's not often you can use the words 'fun', 'creative', 'gross', 'hilarious', and 'hot' all within the same summation, but that's pretty much what you're guaranteed to experience at any show in the 'Burlesque at the Beach' Series.

A small sampling of the numerous other shows I caught during our stay:

Bump and Grindhouse

Lady Aye and Weirdee Girl are pleased to present: Bump 'n' Grindhouse -- the scariest thing to hit Coney Island since Thor Equities! Bringing together equal parts tongue in cheek, blood and gore and T'n'A, Bump 'n' Grindhouse is a shaking, shimmying, loving homage to the creature features and midnight movies of days gone by brought to you by some of New York burlesque's sweetest star attractions. All killer, no filler, it's burlesque that boils down cult films to the best part - the ominous trailer - without skimping on shock, schlock, or laughs-a-plenty!
The evening's all-star cast of nudie cuties include: Weirdee Girl, Nasty Canasta, Creamy Stevens, Fem Appeal, Minnie Tonka & Miss Kissy Wishes. Along with, your emcee, the sweetheart of the sideshow, The Lady Aye! Plus a half-time spooktacular with prizes from sponsors Live Fast NY and Something Weird Video! So, run, don't walk to see the standing room only, thrill ride that has had audiences screaming with delight. . .IF YOU DARE!
Note: The producers of Bump 'n' Grindhouse believe some of the images contained in this show to be so shocking that a nurse will be on hand to tend to any patrons who faint from sheer terror or mental over-stimulation. In addition, the management has arranged for each audience member to receive a "Shock Insurance" Policy indemnifying them against the pure thrills and entitling them to a chance at valuable raffle prizes!
Rated G for G-Strings.

Freakin' Awesome.





Skullduggery & Skin Show presents:
A Fistful of Pasties

The Wild West gets undressed when Sheriff Albert Cadabra & Deputy Donny try to tame the notorious outlaw Gal Friday and her Booby Bandits! Miss Friday leads an all-girl gang that's dead set against pasties interfering with the natural beauty of their breasts, but Sheriff Cadabra will keep their boobs undercover until things bust out in an eyeball-bulging, pastie-twirling shootout of bodies and bullets! It's a Fistful of Pasties that shows exactly How the West was Done!
featuring:
The Booby Bandits, Gal Friday, Jo Boobs, Nasty Canasta, Little Brooklyn, with, Albert Cadabra as the Sheriff, Donny Vomit as the Deputy, Porkpie the Pianist, & Blaine Kneece as the Old Coot!

You can't make this stuff up....

Fisherman's Love Luau

The Best and Only Tiki-themed Burlesque Show - Fisherman takes you on a vacation of the imagination, as the sultry sounds of the Xylophonic Orchestra (featuring Fisherman on the historic 100 year-old Harley Sadler Tent Show Marimba-Xylophone) inspire a bevy of the best Burlesque dancers in the world to cast aside all civilizational inhibitions and return to a primitive state of exotik abandon!
(Performers TBA)
www.fishermansburlesque.com

Fisherman was a really cool dude to hang with and an incredible marimbist/vibraphonist. He fronts his own Tiki style band 'The Xylophonic Orchestra' who most triumphantly enhance whichever troupe they are backing.


The Peach Tartes Let Their Freak Flag Fly!

The Peach Tartes are very kinky girls--the kind of girls you want to know...
Wave your freak flag high and celebrate Coney Island with us (it's our all-time favorite!) We're gonna get wild now and bring you everything from Little Egypt and Living Dolls to Siamese Twins and Snake Charmers! It's such a freaky scene!
www.myspace.com/peachtartes









THE SELF CENTERED LEO BURLESQUESHOW
WE PUT THE ASS IN ASTROLOGY!

What do Masturbation, Mirrors and Photographs have in common? The Leo! That's right on July 30th the sun will be in the center of astrological sun sign of the Leo. What else is special about this date? It's THE SELF CENTERED LEO SHOW! This burlesque show will highlight the fabulous nature of those born under the sun sign of the Leo! Starring sensationally talented Burlesque, Singers, and Performance artists: Darlinda Just Darlinda, Jo Boobs, Erin Markey, Fem Appeal, Sequinette, and Shelly the Singing Siren!
These internationally renowned Leo's are sexy, brilliant, confident, and bring you the best in Burlesque Entertainment the Astrological Chart has to offer(at least we think so!) We'll be honoring legendary Leo celebrities like; Mae West,Isaac Hayes, Madonna, Whitney Houston and our President Barack Obama!
Of course our stars, all born Leos, are ablaze with talent!

Ixion Burlesque presents "Down & Dirty Lounge"


Ixion's "Down & Dirty Lounge" began at the Coney Island Mermaid parade of 1999. Pianist Albert Garzon and blues vocalist Lex Grey did something unheard of at that time: they created a cabaret incorporating forgotten hits of the teens, 20's and 30's with dirty-sexy Jokes. Today the show has grown into a Two-Act, live-music burlesque starring:
Gal Friday (Miss Coney Island), Fleur de Lys, Madame Hari, Jasmine Blushes and Venus Velour.





Albert's ragtime/blues piano and Lex Grey's sultry voice are the perfect backdrop for authentic old-school burlesque. This show is Down and Dirty, with more than a touch of class!!

Dr. Lukki presents: PHANTASMAGORIA: A Land Where all the Beauties are Monsters and all the Monsters are Beauties









Once upon a time an unsuspecting academic researching a vital 21st century cultural phenomenon on gets swept away by her studies and literally lands in a fantasy land called Phantasmagoria. In Phantasmagoria, all of the beauties are monsters and all of the monsters are beauties. Though monster/beauty produces conceptual richness, it also creates curatorial nightmares as Dr. Lucky and Darlinda Just Darlinda attempt, in vain, to cast the show. A show within in a show, monster/beauty shows the limitations of a binary structure when dealing with a post-modern cultural concept. Along the way, they meet some of the most compelling beautiful monsters and monstrous beauties in the new burlesque scene including Bambi the Bambi the Mermaid, Devilicia, Little Brooklyn and Rose Wood. These monster/beauties teach our unsuspecting academic a few things about theory as they bring to life her essay entitled, "'It is the Ugly that is so Beautiful': Performing the Monster/Beauty Continuum in Neo Burlesque.

Needless to say, I made a lot of amazing friends doing amazing work that I am very much looking for to reconnecting with this summer. More updates on the way (with significantly less copying and pasting).

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